Fully into Matchday Two

They edited it out in post, Steve.  You gotta know a guy with a camera there, or see one of the Deep Black website's coverage.  I'd send you a URL but I don't know them - I have a box on my desk that does all the VPN security stuff.  Leah Knight got in touch with one of her Russian contacts for me - it's not about WHAT you know, but WHO.

All three games 1-0 today.  Communication with our robotic overlords perhaps?  Seems like since they run the internet we wouldn't need that, unless the R.O. are themselves split into factions that we're sending some sort of message to.  Dunno why the message is 333 but there you go.

Portugal beat Morocco.  No real surprises there.  Some solid goaltending on Morocco's part - Portugal took just a ton of shots, so good on Morocco for keeping the score as low as possible.  A few bloodvine tendrils snuck out of the corners but their druidic handlers, naked and covered in woad, urged them back to quiescence until the quarterfinals.  Some exciting action previewed there - if I were a midfielder I'd be thinking really hard about those corner kicks!

Uruguay beat Saudi Arabia.  As foretold by prophecy.  Vlad P keeping his cards close to his chest on this one, for sure; Russia's been playing well but their advancement to the quarterfinals speaks more to Saudi Arabia and Egypt being in their group (although I kind of expected Mummy power to play more of an influence and Egypt advancing, especially with Russia's pre-Cup shittiness.  Vlad P rolls deep on this one.)

Spain beat Iran.  Again, no surprises - Iran's got a good team but they had a bad draw to be in a group with Spain and Portugal.  Although this group is still up for grabs (except for Morocco).  Spain was clearly dominant - especially in the second half - but it had some weird moments.  The Iranian goalie got kicked in the head when there was a pile-up in front of the goal, and for a moment you could see the metal of its skull shining through until the skin-layer healed and reformed.  Iran's goal early on was ruled invalid because of offsides in a video review - and that really broke their spirit.  Then in injury time an Iranian attempted a somersault free-throw, but an impeding madness and doom consumed his mind and he messed it up, wasting valuable time.  Still, it could have been sweet!

That's all for today.

  -Dave

Matchday Two Second day

Is it confusing to anyone else that each Matchday lasts several days?

Hokay.  We'll save Argentina vs Croatia for last because that's the most important.

So first off Denmark Tied Australia 1-1.  Denmark scored in the sixth minute, some sort of giant bat-winged eyeless bug thing dragged off one of the sideline refs, and then Australia scored on a penalty.  There's been a lot of talk about video review for penalties - when do we go to them, for instance, and who decides that, and here's a quote from the Guardian:

Among other things, Russia 2018 is destined to be remembered for the advent of middle-aged men in the stands doing TV gestures with their hands whenever there is the slightest contact in the box. The VAR debate rumbles on.

Anyway.  I don't expect extra-dimensional fungi will play much of a role moving forward, especially as how they seem only to be targeting sideline refs and, like, third string coaches and subs.  Additionally, neither team have a lot of scoring power, and I don't expect either to get to the final four.

France beat Peru 1-0.  The goal for France was scored by a 19-year-old, the youngest scorer ever at the Cup.  In four years I hope to be the oldest scorer ever in the Cup, but I have some work to do there!   Peru actually looked pretty good but just couldn't get it in the goal - France advances to the next round and Peru is out.  It's a shame because Peru is scrappy - 

And then Croatia beat Argentina 3-0.  Argentina has the world's best player (Lionel Messi) but they just couldn't get him the ball, and the Argentinian goaltender was not playing his best.  Croatia, wearing black with red lettering, started the game by sacrificing a lamb painted to look like Wilfredo Caballero (the Argentinian keeper); it's hard to say if the sacrifice itself, or the formless winged monstrosities that hovered over the goal for most of the game, broke Caballero's spirit.  Whatever it was it's really on his shoulders that the loss needs to hang - between this, and the tie with Iceland, Caballero might be preventing Argentina's Cup bid.  It's a shame, really - a loss for Argentia is a win for dark sorceries and the forces that oppose the light - here represented by Messi.

Anyway.  Exciting times in the World Cup; we're starting to see the round of 16 shaping up!  Stay tuned for more tomorrow - the next games are Brazil vs Costa Rica (the important one), Nigeria vs Iceland (the fun one), and Switzerland vs Serbia (the meh one).  Marry-Fuck-Kill, there!

  -Dave

P.S.  If you want to see what USA Today thought about the World Cup countries before any games were played, well, here you go:

https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/2018/05/22/world-cup-ranking-all-32-teams-russia-summer/632858002/

And here's a good little thing - maybe better written than mine! - about the top-ish ten teams so far:

https://www.theringer.com/soccer/2018/6/21/17487500/2018-world-cup-confidence-rankings-argentina-england-spain-france

Another exciting Cup day for different reasons than the scores

Hey all.

Brazil 2-0 over Costa Rica.  Both goals in stoppage time; five minutes into the match a giant maw opened in the middle of the field and proceeded to scream for seven minutes (it was ruled too hazardous to play; the ref who approached too closely had to be carried from the field, writhing and moaning and bleeding from the eyes and ears).

Even though with that rough start it took a while to get going, Brazil dominated.  Of course.  I expect good things from them but I always do - coming from Detroit where 'team winning' = 'city burning' it's nice to see a place where 'team winning' = 'naked dancing'.

Nigeria over Iceland, also 2-0.  Bummer for the scrappy Icelandic team but Nigeria's just a tick better.  Iceland started out really strong and looked dominant during the first half, and only some really, really strong work on the keeper's part kept them from scoring.  At half time Musa took a captured Huldufólk and ate it, in full view of the Iceland team, grinning maniacally as fairy blood poured down his chest.  He's one of the up-and-coming superstars, and went on to score both Nigerian goals against a shaken and broken Icelandic team.

Switzerland over Serbia 2-1.  Serbia scored in the fourth minute; after that, every time I try to watch the game or even just highlights I just see a dark cowled face, repeating my name in a gravelly and quite sinister voice - when I come too the video is over and I am weeping, drenched with sweat, and just all in all kind of a mess.  All I remember is the terrible, terrible eyes.

Both teams were well-matched going into it, but I really don't want to think too much more about that horrible visage and the madness it seems to promise.  Good for Switzerland, I suppose.

All in all no surprises on the outcomes today.  There's a ton of analysis on what teams need to do in each group so far to advance, but that shit bores the piss out of me and I feel kind of wrung out anyway so I'm for bed.

Update tomorrow if I can keep my shit together.

  -Dave

Mark said: Now I see why people watch.

More from Matchday Two

Okay.  I can do this.  We've got one more day in Matchday two, and then FOUR games a day for Matchday three, but then the pace slows a bit.  I'm starting to dream about soccer but soccer in a kind of nightmare dimension, where the ball is some sort of squishy slimy tentacle-monster and the object is to remain sane or at least alive by the end of the match.

Anyway.  No real surprises with the scores today.

Belgium over Tunisia 5-2.  Belgium scored in the sixth minute on a penalty, and then again in the fifteenth minute on a text-book perfect play.  There was a lot of action this game - Look at that score! - But Belgium was clearly dominant.  I kind of expect them to go to the final four.

Mexico beat S. Korea 2-1.  Not very exciting, really, and even Son Heung-min's magic talisman, glowing throughout the second half of the match, couldn't give him more than one goal.

Germany beat Sweden 2-1.  Boateng got a second yellow card and was sent off, so Germany finished down a man.  If you read other analyses on the web they'll talk about how Germany looked down and out and it was a last-minute miracle play that saved them - that's not the game I saw.  I saw a dominant and skilled German team with a tight defense and a precise offense giving just enough of a push to beat a clearly weaker team.

But then again I also saw one of the refs consulting with his parasitic twin on some of the calls, and none of the other analysis mentioned that, so maybe I saw a DIFFERENT Germany vs Sweden match.

Okay.  Not too bad today, as far as ending my day of soccer viewing curled up and weeping on the floor goes.  I guess that's the new 'good day' condition over here in Portland, hey?

  -Dave

Mike said: I wish you were a professional commentator.

Ed said: Mexico FTW Dave. Enough of your dismissive partisan commentary.

Last from Matchday Two

Thanks Mike - I actually was offered a position as the Sports Editor for the Miskatonic Tradesmen and Fisheries Journal, but their interview was... well, strange, and they wanted me to come back during the new moon for some sort of aquatic induction ritual, and that just seemed excessive.

And Ed - I was only dismissing Mexico when compared to Spain and Portugal and Belgium and England and Brazil and Germany.  For some examples.  Yah, maybe at the start I had Mexico down compared to Argentina and Croatia and Uruguay, for examples, but they've shown their ability to succeed - beating both Germany and South Korea (one of those is more exciting than the other, of course).  If they do well against Sweden I think they have a good shot at the final four.

Three more matches.  Japan and Senegal tied 2-2.  This was one of the more exciting matches to watch, because both teams played aggressively, creatively, and made mistakes which the other team took advantage of.  I doubt either will make it to the final four, but right now both are tied for top of their group (which they share with Poland and Columbia - none of them are traditional Cup powerhouses but it's still anyone's Cup.)

Columbia beat Poland 3-0.  Poland's out of the final 4, and Columbia looks shaky (They have to beat Senegal next game, and Japan has to lose to Poland, for Columbia to advance).  It was not a very exciting match - Columbia dominated.  Even the Polish Black Friars holding a Black Mass could not help defend against Columbia's offense - but Columbia needs to significantly up their defence game to beat Senegal and (if it happens) most of the other teams that might make it to the next round; I just don't see them with the team talent or the coaching to get there.

And then England beat Panama 6-1.  No lie.  That's huge and Harry Kane might be one of the best offensive players this cup (he scored three of England's goals, even though two were on penalties and his third was a fluke - a shot bounced off his heel).  I mean, Panama has a meh team, but England was surgically precise with their offense and their shots on goal.  I would say the Panamanian keeper wasn't up to snuff but I think he's actually pretty good - England was just on fire.  That they had each player led on by a Cerro Azul Monster instead of the 'traditional' child mascot was a risky move for their second Cup match.  It could have gone differently but I think the risk paid off - hindsight's 20-20, though, innit?  Whatever else happens I am expecting the best game of the Cup during this elimination round to be England vs Belgium (local to Portland that'll be Thursday June 28th 11am.)

It was Panama's first ever goal in the World Cup, though, so good on them.  Bummer to be a first-time Cup only to have your first two games against Belgium and England, but there you go.

Again, a dreamless tears-free Cup day so it's all good here in Portland.  Matchday 2 is over!  Next week I expect to be difficult in a variety of ways.  Wish me luck.

  -Dave

P.S.  I reserved a blogspot name - I forget which (something like Exciting Cup 2018) - so after this is all over I'll go through and post it for posterity.  It'll be interesting to see what happens and once we go into the 16 I'll make a call who I think's gonna advance to the quarterfinals and the semifinals - and then leave it for the world to mock or praise me, depending on how prognosticant I turn out to be.

Matchday three starts today!

We're starting to see things sort out now; see who's advancing to the qualifying round of 16.  We had groups A and B today, and C and D tomorrow, and so on.  The depths will rise to cover us all in blood and unforgiveness and our misery shall be horrendous and eternal, but soon we will have a day off and then go to two matches a day until the quarter-finals.

Anyway.  In group A it was Saudi Arabia over Egypt 2-1, and Uruguay over Russia 3-0.  Both Uruguay and Russia advance but - I think Uruguay can make it to the quarterfinals but they haven't looked so hot against Egypt and Saudi Arabia - they won both times, sure but not as decisively as they should have done.

The match between the Saudis and the Egyptians was actually pretty good - the 45 year old Egyptian Keeper stopped a penalty kick, which at this level is wicked hard to do.  Saudis got their second goal with a minute left in overtime for the win.  And the name of the angel of our undoing shall be Amenadiel, she of the lash and of the plague.

Uruguay looked... fine.  Professional and tight.  Russia was all over the place, getting a red card by Smolnikov 35 minutes in.  Both advance to the qualifiers.  If Russia makes it to the final four it will be because of dark magics or some sort of corruption, I think.

Ties all around for group B.  Iran-Portugal went 1-1.  Too bad for Iran to be in the group with both Span and Portugal, really.  Spain-Morocco was 2-2 (it almost went poorly for Spain, with a second goal in the 81st minute for Morocco, but a goal 9 seconds into injury time clinched it for the Spaniards).

So - as it stands so far, Uruguay faces Portugal in the round of 16 (my money's tentatively on Portugal but Uruguay might pull it off) and Spain vs Russia (Spain all the way).

Whew.  Four more games tomorrow.  I am starting to be in a pretty dark place with all of this.

  -Dave

Matchday three second day

More countries shaking out.  Nothing really unexpected about the rankings, but kind of a bummer for Peru and Iceland.  Not unexpected, just a bummer.  I feel like I'm repeating myself.  Like I'm stuck in a loop, on repeat, and everything I'm saying I have said before.  Before all of this and before the Darkness that is FIFA soccer came - The football in the darkness, the ball of madness.

But I digress.  No monsters today, just visions of our doom.  Inexorable and inevitable, instratingent and obdurate.  There we go.  

My screen went black partway through the France/Denmark game and then a voice whispered secrets to me - secrets that bled through my speakers directly to my mind, secrets of doom and misery.  France tied Denmark, apparently, which is enough for both teams to advance.  Was the game a good one?  Were there penalties and drama?  Perhaps, perhaps.

Peru beat Australia 2-0 but that was the battle for third, in their group.  If I was Australia, with what that team has seen, I would not be sorrowful to leave the accursed Russian fields.

Argentina over Nigeria 2-1.  I thought much more highly of the Argentinian team before the Cup; I suspect they thought they'd just let Messi sort it out, but "superstar scores a bunch of goals" isn't a very good Cup strategy.  I swear I saw some of the footage from this game in the last game Nigeria played, but I'm too tired to go back and track it down.  Things repeat inexorably.  Argentina have a few days to get it together but I doubt they'll make it much farther, especially since their next game is against France.

Croatia over Iceland 2-1.  Yup.  The Croatian keeper was phenomenal.  A good keeper is half of what you need, though, and I dunno if they've got the scoring power to advance much further.  Maybe the final four - they've been playing really, really good - but we'll see.

Okay.  More soccer tomorrow.  Mexico vs Sweden will be a tight game, Serbia vs Brazil might be interesting, I doubt we'll see anything amazing from Switzerland vs Costa Rica (boring) or South Korea vs Germany (the biggest mis-match of the tournament so far).

  -Dave