Sunday, July 15, 2018

Third place goes to Belgium

Oh oohhhhh no I am so sorry I would call on God or gods if I thought any would hear me but oh what have I done....

If you are reading this it is far too late.  Too late too late Too Late.  I thought - we thought - no no, the blame must fall on me.  On me and my transgressions against FIFA and the soccermen and the dark corruption that lives underneath the world.  The corruption and rot between the spaces is bleeding through and it is through me and it is far, far too late for you.  By writing this I have let them know of you and they have a taste for you now.  They hunger.  Oh they hunger.  By reading this you open yourselves to them - wittingly or un- does not matter to the forces that hunger for souls, only the door between spaces that now lies open.

Oh!  They hunger in the darkness.  They will pass through the door soon, so terribly soon.

Give your family your love but do not let them know why you are afraid - fear spreads the curse I think.  Ohhhhh the folly!  It is too late to make amends.  I can only resign myself to the darkness and the abyss and I hope - I long for - the darkness because the alternatives are much much worse.

I awoke this morning to watch the game and my face was wet with blood.  I do not know how I am able to continue to see - some dark gift in my final moments, I assume.  Sonya has taken the two kids that are left and I wish her and them luck but there is no place to flee because they come from the spaces between the idea of place, of location - the concept of 'where' breaks down and the only question left is 'when' and the answer, I fear, is 'soon'.

The game.  I suppose we should finish this.  Belgium scored early on in the fourth minute.  

Twenty minutes into the first half a great and horrible darkness descended upon the stadium.  Belgium smeared the blood of the unholy on their faces and a terrible bright and purple light emerged from their eyes.  

At that the crowd and announcers went silent, and a terrible keening wail emerged from the England coach, spreading to his players, who one by one transformed - vestigal, batlike wings emerged from their backs, and their skin went chalky white.  Their faces, now featureless, glowed just enough to show anyone unlucky enough to view them that they had become something both more and less than human.  The ball was illuminated from within by the skull of the Polish goalie, trapped within in one last bid for immortality.  At some point that ball was ruled unfit for play and replaced with a ball with the Panamanian keeper's skull inside.

By my reckoning it added 83 seconds to extra time, but it is hard to say exactly for the referees became beings that would not register on video, or at least not any that could be transmitted electronically; I say 83 seconds because that is how long it took Soviet necromancers to apply filters to the camera to display static where the referee creatures normally would be.

Then Belgium scored in the 82nd minute to clinch the third place.  As per FIFA law the Belgian team was allowed two days grace to conclude their mortal affairs, while the third place English team was set upon and devoured by the ravenous horde of spectators.

All in all I suppose it was a decent third-place game.

Tomorrow is France vs Croatia.  I do not expect to survive the night, but if I do I will report tomorrow.

May your deity / Deities have mercy on your soul.

  -Dave

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